Floyd Labuda: singlemom - the invite didn't say the bar would charge for the drinks - i didn't know until after the bartender made mine and asked for $15 and I had already brought a present. And no thanks I'm not a sheep herd to want to get married like a controlled person who needs a certificate from the government to validate their love and an excuse to get presents.
Lizzette Wendroth: An invitation would never say gifts optional because by a gifts definition they ARE optional. If someone expects a gift from you in order to attend their wedding then they aren't a real friend anyway... That being said it is polite to bring a gift to any party, wedding, birthday or otherwise. That's not to say you have to buy that 100 item on their registry, you can give something less expensive if that is what you can afford/ feel comfortable giving. I am 23 right now and my husband and I were married just over a year ago so I was 22. There were quite a few of my friends who c! ouldn't afford gifts at all, so they gave me a card with well wishes inside. That's really all you need to do. Oh and I have to say you sound really bitter and resentful let it go. Not all people getting married are sheep. Why don't you just live and let live? Everyone wants different things out of life if marriage isn't for you then don't get married, but some people like the idea of marriage and shouldn't be looked down upon for it....Show more
Jannette Kotz: My thoughts are your bitter old hag who is just pissed she isnt married. You should like open bar receptions that means u get to gift less because the couple paid less to feed and beverage the quests DUH grow up what are you 22?????edit OKSY so your under 21 maybe you didnt know the bar was gonna cahrge because thats a WOM thing not something put on and invite and since your not legal to drink know one needed to tell you. Also if you choose to live in sin that is your right just because everyone else do! es it the right way they benfit and get gift and you shrewed w! ind up with diddly squat which you should for obvious reason....Show more
Donald Caravalho: Gifts are always optional, so is your attendance; you are not obligated to do either.I completely understand that all those weddings, showers and yes! subsequent baby showers and toddler birthday parties do add up. And wait until it is their turn to gift, they will not because they are still paying for the wedding that they couldn't afford. and YES! paying for $15 martini, $7.00 beer and $3.00 bottle of water is offensive after buying that $250 Lenox platter from their registry.I have advice: Look at the invitation they send you. If they are cheap looking, facebook invitations, RSVP's with no stamps, if they have cash bars, if they want you to chip in for their honeymoon and those trashy, slap on the face charity favors, if the do not feed you and ask you to dance with the groom for a crisp $20 and all other money grubbing scams, I suggest you buy a card and bring some $20s wit! h you and at the end of the reception, assess how much to give. It's better than to feel ripped off at the end of the day and hold a grudge. I've been there, I've been used several times and wished that I had walked away with my gift in hand. Good luck...Show more
Frank Gazaway: it depends on the quality of diamonds you can afford. research the 4 c's and ask your girlfriend what style of ring she wants, solitaire, 3 stone etc.
Raul Tllo: All I can think of is how selfish you are being...Me this Me that.All those people are getting married, and no one is purchasing them gifts because they bought a house....those are call house warming parties. When you get married people will purchase gifts for your life together with your new husband.As for being optional...you don't have to buy anyone anything, that's your choice.
Dan Seen: I think you're both too young to get married.Both of you should wait till you're at least 25.Finish your education. Go to a univers! ity or college. Join the workforce. Get a steady job. Build up a reason! able savings account. Travel the world. Do cool things.***
Roland Stampley: When I got married, I had a cousin with five childrenShe came to my out of state wedding, share a room with two of her motherShe gave a cardI knew she could not afford thisYou could have a party for your new houseA lot of people have house warming partyDepending on who they are, they bring giftI think you should do what you think is rightIf you can not afford this wedding, then do not go...Show more
Shon Almquist: Don't worry Maria - if I ever get married I'll include a note that says "in lieu of gifts you can make a donation to your favorite charity if you so desire"
Chris Rosenkranz: Good god you are bitter!Bridal showers and baby showers are gift giving events, they are the point of the occasion or party. Married or single you should expect to give a gift. The concept of the shower is this its to "shower" the honoree(s) with gift of items they will need to establish their new ! home together or gifts of items they will need for their new baby.Engagement parties are to announce an engagement it is *not* a gift giving event and couples and guests should not expect that gifts will be given. If you are receiving engagement party invites with a registry or gift information, this person needs to catch up on their etiquette because its tacky.Bachelor(ette) parties are also not gift giving events. They are a night out to celebrate with the groom or bride to be, each guest is expected for this to pay for their own meal, festivities, etc.Weddings: Gifts are entirely optional, no couple should ever *expect* to receive any gifts for their wedding. However, most guests feel giving a gift to help celebrate the occasion with them is the right thing to do.There is no discrimination of single people, the couple or the person hosting the event (wedding, baby shower, bridal shower) cannot help the fact that you are single and have one income, they probably did n! ot even think about that when they invited you to be their guest. They! likely invited you to be their guest because you were their friend, family member and they valued you as a person, not your tax filing status.While I'm engaged now, I have been single and invited to many weddings, showers, etc. I had no problems buying a gift to help them celebrate the occasion, and not because I thought I had to, but because I **wanted** to. I like you (and married couples as well) do not have an unlimited income, however I know to stick within reason of my budget, I do not spend more than I can afford to which is also known as living beyond your means. If its a registry I stick to something nice and affordable in my budget, or I get them a gift card to the store depending on the event. I just like you (and married people) have bills of my own to pay. I own a home, a car, I pay taxes, I pay electricity, I pay gas, I pay insurance, I pay cell phone bills, I pay cable bills, etc. You're not the only single person who has bills.While yes, gifts are opt! ional at weddings, I **personally** would never show up to a wedding without a gift. I take into consideration that this couple or whomever is hosting the wedding is incurring a cost to have me as their guest. Wedding gifts are generally not a profit event, the cost of the wedding usually by far is more than anything you receive in gifts. If you are single and on a limited income, I don't think anyone is expecting you to buy them a $500 piece of china place setting.Overall your gripe is that it doesn't benefit you so you see it as a hassle. Everything in here is about "me, me, and me", nobody did this for me, nobody did that for me.When I bought my house, nobody bought things for me either and -- I didn't care, I can buy my own things. While I mentioned I'm engaged, that doesn't mean I have a double income, I do not live with my fiance, we both have our own homes and our finances for now are still separate.While I also don't agree with cash bars, who said you had to dr! ink? Martini's in general are an expensive drink.If you can't be happy! for someone for their occasion no matter what it is, it may be better for you to not go so you don't rain on their parade and make it miserable....Show more
Tijuana Tatsak: Let's see if we can break this down. First, no one said that you have to go to the wedding; however, if you choose to do so, then yes it is customary to take a gift. That being said, no one said the gift has to be pricey or from their gift registry. Many people think out of the box and present the couple with other gift options. Most importantly have fun and enjoy the special day with the couple, friends and family.
Dorine Nurre: You spend what you can afford, period. There is no set rule on how much you must spend. Just don't go outside your means, and don't go into debt for it.
Catheryn Small: I wouldn't go by cost, only by karat. My hubby bought me an engagement ring that is one karat, absolutely beautiful! He paid about 2,000 for it, and after 2 months saw it on sale for 879. LOL. ! I felt awful for him : ( I would say, wait until things are on sale. Usually around the end of August-October, jewelry is on sale. Avoid buying things during the spring, as the prices seem to be much higher.So as a female I would say, a 1k ring for under 1,000. If your fiancee loves you, she wont care about the cost, but only about the gesture and proposal from the person she cares about. And make sure the proposal is strong, and is of sentimental value to the both of you!Good luck!
Hunter Osterberger: Charleston, Savannah, or south Atlanta area
Derrick Kloke: And the last wedding i went to a couple of months ago, you had to PAY for the alcohol - after asking the bartender to make me a martini he charged $15!!! I was like TACK-Y. I think I"m threw with weddings.
Wilbert Shellgren: This is more rant than question, but you're making a lot of wrong assumptions. With the exception of showers, gifts are always optional. Why not just attend the weddings of the! se people and not all the other events? Also, the registry is just a ! guideline. You don't HAVE to buy anything off of it.I do agree that cash bars are tacky....Show more
Marita Stadick: You could have always had a housewarming party if you wanted gifts. It's not discriminatory. Some couples spend a lot more than a single person does on a gift and some spend a lot less. Maybe when you get married you'll get gifts, that is if you have any friends with your attitude. Gifts are always optional, couples make registries so their guests who are generous will know what they want and so they won't end up with numerous items of the same thing. Most are also courteous enough to pick a variety of items in different price ranges for those who can't afford much or are too stingy to be considerate. I think it's tacky to go to a wedding and be so self centered and stingy that you feel burdened to buy a nice gift.Personally I wouldn't care whether anyone bought me a gift or not, their attendance is my gift, but with an attitude like yours I woul! dn't want you there anyway because you'd just be a gloomy gus all night and ruin it for me and everyone else who understands attending a wedding is an honor and a chance to wish the happy couple a wonderful future....Show more
Lupe Sancen: House warming parties are the same type or tackiness - people want to get presents so my point is I don't want to give presents just to share on someone's occasion and likewise I've bought 4 homes in the past 15 years - not one present, so I'm not about to be as tacky as they are by throwing a "housewarming" i.e. gift hording party. I've given in to pressure to attend these tacky events all my life and it's time I say NO and I'm not going to let my family make me feel guilty for not having gone to my cousins weddings....Show more
Logan Bero: try the knot.com it's free to join and use. You might get more specific information looking around on this site. I found my place on there after comparing prices.
Virgil Menefee: f! irst off you need to provide a state here so we can do the research on ! what your state requires. Its different in every state and town. You need to go to your city hall and ask there and then they will point you in the right direction. I believe the wedding license is at the same location as the "justice of the piece" court house wedding. Why are you going to do the court house thing?!?! are you saving time and money? I am enjoying planning my wedding and i don't have much money to spend but I still want to have the whole church, reception, pictures fun stuff!...Show more
Antonette Shappy: I was going to write a thoughtful answer to you, and then I realized you're just here to rant. For someone who says that gift-giving occasions are tacky, you sound awfully upset that you aren't getting any crystal or china.
Damaris Weiler: It's not their fault you haven't married or had a housewarming party or, heck, plenty of people have faux receptions when they know they aren't getting married. So why are you trying to punish them for your dec! isions? The invites shouldn't mention anything at all about gifts, including that they are optional because they are always optional. You don't have to bring a gift at all really if you feel that strong about it. I hate that people make weddings all about the gifts, both on the married couples side who think of the wedding as only a means to get stuff and on the guest side. It's not about gifts. It's about love. But, keep in mind, the couple is giving you a gift too. You are getting typically a night of entertainment, a $20-30 meal and often alcohol on top of getting to celebrate a special day. And yet having to shell out $20-30 on a gift is just too much? I don't know what bride would want such a selfish self centered guest....Show more
Rosalba Lingner: The modern rule for what you should spend on an engagement ring is to spend as much as you can WITHOUT GOING INTO DEBT! How much of your income do you save or not spend every month? Put it aside and let it accumu! late and then purchase a ring. My husband saved up for almost a year a! nd paid for my ring in cash when he purchased it! People used to believe the diamond industry's standard of 3 months salary. That idea has come and gone. Get the best you can without going into debt!Another good rule of thumb is to purchase quality over quantity. Many girls want a large ring,but when you hold a poor quality ring next to a good quality ring, everybody can tell the difference! Sparkle is everything when it comes to diamonds! Look for a diamond (if that is the stone you choose) that is "SI" range or better in clarity and at least "I" range in color. Also make sure it is either very good or ideal cut and certified by a reputable agency like GIA.One last thing: GO TO A LOCAL JEWELER! Local jewelers are more likely to work with you to get what you want and when you can work directly with an owner, you may be able to negotiate price. My husband did this. I found a ring I liked at Tiffany & Co. It had a .6 carat G/VS1 diamond in it. My husband found a ! larger, better quality diamond for about half the price at a local shop! My ring is .75 carat F/VS1 diamond solitaire! I could not be happier!Also, make sure you insure the ring in case anything happens to it. If your ring is properly insured like it should be, purchasing a guarantee is a waste of money!
Madge Voice: It depends on where you're at. You get your license at the county superior court - most of those courthouses also have justices of the peace who perform wedding ceremonies. You may need to book an appointment in advance. Depending on your state's marriage license laws, dictates how far before (if at all) the wedding you get your license. Check your county clerk of court website or give them a call....Show more
Marcelle Vanlith: Size is not always important and neither is cost. You need to think about what she likes and something that would make her smile every time she looks at it. Best of luck
Emery Blando: Curious on how much you shou! ld spend on a engagement ring.. I make around 20k a year as I am in sch! ool right now, and we've been together going on 5 years....
Will Camus: first pick locationthen go to www.google.comsearch for that county's courthousethen it will direct you to that websiteevery court/county has their own system but they always lay it out very easily for anyone to followtheres also always phone numbers to call if you want to go about it that way!good luck and congrats :)...Show more
Danette Slotnick: It all depends on what state and county you live in..... Most states and counties make you get a marriage license AT LEAST 24 hours before you get married (some require even more time) so you'll have to go beforehand, pay the fees and show the documentation.... You'll do this at the county courthouse (again, a quick google search should at least give you a number to call to give you information on the procedures in your county) You'll also be able to set up a time to get married by a Judge or Justice of the Peace..... Good luck and Congrats!...Show! more
Joey Mekeel: Just 1k will do. It is the thought that counts.
Lynn Mctier: on the comparable time, if this standards is used, relatively some undesirable weddings does no longer ensue because of the fact people does no longer get previous the hurdle of determining to purchase for jewelry. possibly the assumption of three months income isn't a foul concept in spite of everything. My first spouse have been given an outstanding set of jewelry which she picked out herself. That marriage did no longer final nonetheless, when I remarried, we've been given a low-cost set of jewelry at ok Mart. no longer even good gold, yet only plated. interior a 300 and sixty 5 days or 2 we necessary new jewelry. we are actually on our 0.33 or fourth set of jewelry, greater effective high quality each time of direction and those have been slightly costly. My spouse nevertheless does not have what you may call an engagement ring. interior the final diagnosis the fee of the jewelry! does no longer advise all that lots. It i
Gregory Dilg: Ok, What! kind of court holds the wedding? & How would I go about getting a date set up to get married & also do I need to go buy the license myself or would it already be there, just purchase and sign pretty much..idk I NEED HELP!! I'm no good with this kind of stuff!
Gennie Shauer: simple... you don't want to give a gift..then don't go to all these weddings, showers and housewarmings.just don't expect people to show up when its your turn.
Elsie Resner: I've been single my whole life, and I agree, in some cases there is a double standard towards single people. We never get the bed, (lol) always the couch, and we are sometimes expected to contribute as much as couples in a lot of situations. However, I have finally let it be known that I am a single woman and can't afford to contribute as much as couples can. When I pay for dinner, I pay for myself, when I put money in on the cab, I put my share, no more no less. When I give wedding gifts, I try to be creative and giv! e something I would want to have for myself. This doesn't mean expensive. This means going outside of the registry list and finding something unique, finding that gift that everyone is going to say "wow, that is so cool, never thought of that..."! I've given picnic baskets filled with treats, wrapped in a checkered table cloth, and it might sound boring, but people love it. Kitchen gadgets are also a hit, Backyard and Veranda is one of my favourite stores to go to for wedding gifts. It's not about the money! Good luck~...Show more
Lauri Ohl: Um, gifts are entirely optional. You never have to give someone a gift because they got married or had a baby. Your relationship status is irrelevant. People don't put 'gifts optional' on invitations because that would be assuming gifts, which is rude. If your presence is requested at an event, a gift is not expected. The exception would be showers which are a gift-giving event, but are entirely optional to attend. It is, ho! wever, good etiquette to give a small gift to your host, again, relatio! nship status irrelevant. If you, as a single person, host a dinner party in your home, some of your guests will likely show up with a gift....Show more
Nancy Mansell: It depends where you live. Different states have different rules in regards to marriage requirements/costs. Generally I think you'll spend less than $100 on a marriage certificate, but don't quote me on that one. Visit your state and city's government website. Generally you can find it by typing (example) into google: California City of San Francisco government. A gov page should pop up. From there you should be able to navigate your want to the marriage certificate page. The page should have answers to the various questions you may have about the marriage process at the court. If there is something that is not answered give them a call, the number should be conveniently located on their website :) Good luck! I've always wanted a courthouse wedding....Show more
Mel Crapo: There is no set amount on ! what you should spend on an engagement ring. It used to be that a guys should spend 2 months worth of his paycheck. You have to do what is best for you. You don't want to spend a fortune on the engagement ring and be in debt while still in school. Remember you also have to get a wedding ring. Quality is better than Quanitity. Some people spend thousands of dollar on a huge ring but the quality is not so great....Good Luck ring shopping.
Edmund Rappley: You don't have to spend much. You are the one that knows her well; I would get her something small that you can afford, later on when you finish school and make a little more you can always upgrade. The ring to me was not important when my husband proposed it was the fact that he picked something he thought I would like. Good luck.
Irma Poiter: If I threw a dinner party I wouldn't register at a gourmet food store with $10/pound cheese and $100 wines on my wish list like tacky couples getting married do for thei! r registries at upscale department stores.
Sharee Doak: Coming fr! om someone who's man makes the same.. Im trying to convince him NOT to spend a lot. I would be happier knowing that he didnt have to save 3 paychecks to buy me something. I think sticking with something affordable that he knows I'd like shows me
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